Interestment’s Top Four: Wonderful French Women

Published: 22nd Apr, 2009

Say “bonjour femmes” to some femmes…

french-women-noemie

There isn’t a single thing on the planet that couldn’t be made sexier by becoming a little bit French. It’s already worked wonders on kissing and knickers – both of which used to be rubbish. Before the French was introduced to kissing, people would just press their dry thin lips together and stare awkwardly into each other’s eyes at weddings. Now it’s tongue city seven days a week. Knickers were made from coarse sandpaper and worn inside out. Hence, we thought it high time to pay a fitting homage to our friends on the other side of La Manche, specifically by honouring their women. We overlooked the toothless crones cackling outside truck-stop cafes, and went for some of the beautiful ones. Missing the cut were Catherine Deneuve, Noemie Lenoir (pictured), Eva Green, Marion Cotillard, and Beatrice Dalle

1. Brigitte Bardot

french-women-brigitte

Spe

ctacular women don’t come much more fantastic than Brigitte Bardot. She started life as a splendid young model-slash-actress, with lovely hair. Unfortunately, she’s since gone on to grow frighteningly old, and keeps being a bit racist about our Muslim brothers and sisters. Still, for her work in the 1960s and 1970s, she’s our number one. She’s never been in a film with Gerard Depardieu.

2. Laetitia Casta

french-women-laetitia

For those not up on fashion models, Laetitia has pretty much done it all – Chanel, L’Oreal, Dior. All she needs now is Head & Shoulders, and she’s literally cleaned up. Fans of female nudity will be pleased to note that she’s happy to take her clothes off if the price is right. And sometimes if it isn’t. Like three of the four stunners, she has starred in a film with Gerard Depardieu.

3. Emmanuelle Beart

french-women-emmanuelle

Politically speaking, Emmanuelle is at the opposite end of the spectrum to Brigitte Bardot. She’s an ambassador for UNICEF, and she once kicked up a storm by defending illegal immigrants. She’s nice. We will, however, forever be most grateful for the time she took all of her clothes off and danced around in Manon des Sources – or Manon of Sources in English. A film also starring Gerard Depardieu.

4. Sophie Marceau

french-women-sophie

It was a close one for fourth place, but Sophie just edged it, thanks to her sultry looks, and fine, womanly figure. Most of you will probably recognise her from Braveheart with Mel Gibson, or the Bond film with Pierce Brosnan. Some may even remember her from Fort Saganne… alongside Gerard Gepardieu.

Of course, there can be no sexy French girls for the boys without a little je ne sais quoi for the girls. Below is Gerard Depardieu.

gerard-depardieu

C’est rien.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

9 Responses to Interestment’s Top Four: Wonderful French Women

  1. Stu says:

    You appear to be forgetting Annelise Hesme – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me8y10fKuZ4&feature=player_embedded – WHO I WILL MARRY ONE DAY

  2. forty-forty five says:

    You’ve missed out Melissa Theuriau

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4CzEmCWSe0&feature=related

    She looks like what you *thought* all French girls were going to look like before embarking on a school exchange. You were wrong…

  3. olly says:

    Oustanding work Mr Interestment. Entente cordiale is alive and well.

  4. Mark says:

    Mr Interestment – wot no Vanessa Paradis? – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUyerUzPCHg

    I mean, she’s so fit that Johnny Depp has been with her for years, Lenny Kravitz wrote her an entire album and that just writing this has started to make me drool…

  5. josh josh says:

    All magnifique suggestions, friends, but I’m still pretty convinced by the four chosen. One that I did overlook was the papa/nicole girl, but I have a scary feeling that she was about twelve…

  6. kitvancleave says:

    No Marion Cotillard? Check your logical premises.

  7. Robot Monkey says:

    I have to say, I was pretty surprised and disappointed to not see Audrey Tautou on here. Somewhat evens out with the inclusion Laetitia Casta, but just barely.

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