Interestment’s Top Four: Men (if we had to)

Published: 14th Apr, 2009

Some real beefcakes missed out…

fabio2

It has been pointed out that we only tend to focus on women when we’re covering sexy topics – we’ve had our favourite Blondies, our best Brunettes – and that does seem a bit unfair on the growing female readership that also enjoys this site. Our apologies, ladies, the reason for this is quite simple – we’ve only ever approached these topics from a rampantly male heterosexual point of view. We haven’t tested ourselves journalistically, nor sexually, by putting ourselves between the imaginary sheets with another gentleman to wonder what that might be like. Until, that is, the long bank holiday weekend came along, and we allowed our disbelief to be suspended, as we waded through giant lists of famous men to decide which ones we’d most like as a boyfriend/husband… were we that way inclined. We decided on these four hotties…

1. Tom Selleck

tom-selleck

This one was a no brainer. Selleck is, quite simply, the coolest, most attractive man to ever walk the planet. With his blend of hardened street values, but gentle nature, you’d always feel at ease during one of his through-the-night cuddles, his fuzzy moustache gently tickling your flushed womanly cheeks. Tom, here, sausage-blocks Burt Reynolds, Will Carling and Pierce Brosnan from the list.

2. Prince

prince

We decided that those not warming to Selleck’s gentle-but-controlling relationship styles might be more inclined to a sexual rebel, like Prince. Yes, he’d probably break your heart, but, Jesus man, it’d be one heck of a ride before then. With his extravagant clothes and no-nonsense approach to business, he’d be great on your arm at an important work function. The ideal mistress.

3. Marco Pierre White

marco-pierre-white

Pierre White has the look of someone who could silently murder a man without once breaking eye contact, and it’s exactly that dangerous side that makes him so appealing as a husband. Once he’s fallen for your sweaty handshakes and trembling charms, he would move mountains to protect you. On the downside, a hunch suggests that you’d barely get a look-in should it come to dictating the evening’s intercourse. He’s on top.

4. David Beckham

david-beckham-men

His face could be chiseled in marble by the hand of Zeus himself, but still David Beckham has the voice of a terrified baby mouse trapped under a cup. This is what stops him from being at the top of the pile. He was run close by David James and Freddie Ljungberg – both of whom have also enjoyed a sideline in underpants modelling – but Beckham steals it, as he used to captain England. What a headline that would be.

Of course, there will be no hot pictures of men for the women without a little buxon something for the guys. Below is the sassy redhead from Mad Men.

christina-hendricks

You’re welcome.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

6 Responses to Interestment’s Top Four: Men (if we had to)

  1. Spencer says:

    I’m left wondering who the female Tom Selleck is.

  2. chrisitne Jones says:

    Tom Selleck is good but you cannot possibly believe that he could knock Pierce Brosnan off of top spot. Pierce is the best!

  3. josh josh says:

    Not according to this particular young man, chrisitne (Christine?)… Brosnan is good, but there’s something a bit smarmy, don’t you think?

    Or am I way off the mark?

  4. Pete says:

    mmm… Christina Hendricks.

  5. strongman says:

    I’d do Slash.

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