Some very pretty women didn’t make it…
Already, we’ve doffed a ten gallon hat to the planet’s most beautiful blonde women, so today it’s the turn of the brunettes. Brunettes, of course, are always portrayed as the boring, serious ones. They’re not as fired up and lethal as redheads, and they sure as heckfire can’t be bought with the promise of Parisian getaways and soft, herb-infused cheeses – like blondes. They’re strong, impressive women, and that’s one of many reasons why we think they’re great. We also enjoy the fresh feeling of recently conditioned brown hair. It’s lovely. Just missing out on this occasion were impressive lookers like Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Loren, Cindy Crawford, and Jennifer Lopez (pictured). Here are the greatest brunettes, as decided by us…
1. Monica Bellucci
No one is 100 per cent sure what Monica does. She’s done a bit of acting here and there – notably in Mel Gibson’s brutal remake of The Life of Brian, and the Dracula film with Gary Oldman. She’s also enjoyed a spot of modelling. All moot points, however, because Monica Bellucci should be celebrated for simply being beautiful, even as she moves into the murkier area of her 40s. A gorgeous woman.
2. Yasmine Bleeth
Yasmine, yes, was part of the impressive ensemble cast that made Baywatch the must-see lifeguard drama of the 1990s. She had stiff competition in the sexy stakes from a slew of buxom blondes, including Donna D’Errico, Pammy, and the one who played Summer. And yet, her curves proved so magnificent and decisive that most teenage boys would have taken her above the others any day. What a woman. She has since ruined her looks by persistently piling gigantic lines of cocaine up her nose. Shame.
3. Diana Rigg
Bringing a little boost of sophistication and wit to proceedings is Diana Rigg, who had fabulous legs. She was the thinking man’s brunette of choice when she starred in The Avengers, and she actually managed to marry James Bond in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Not many women can boast that particular delight. A great woman, she made catsuits look like they were designed for people. Not cats.
4. Salma Hayek
If only for her astonishing snake dance in From Dusk Till Dawn, Hayek makes the top four. Her hair oscillates between being straight, and being a bit curly, yet her magnificent curves always stay the same, even as she accelerates towards middle age. A splendid women, she has the kind of taut, impressive body that gives anxious people the heebie-jeebies.
Of course, it would be completely unfair to treat the boys to such delightful brunettes, without someone equally gorgeous for the girls. Below is Burt Reynolds.