Interestment’s Top Four: Pub garden drinks

Published: 1st Apr, 2009

Some big names missed out…

pimms

There is nothing in life more rewarding than getting drunk during the day when the sun’s out. Literally nothing. Think about it – have you ever seen an unhappy tramp during the summer months? Of course you haven’t, those guys are having the time of their lives. Warm rays of pure joy beaming down from Heaven, a fresh can of the sweet stuff quenching the insides. It’s brilliant. So, with that in mind, we thought we’d compile the greatest drinks to quaff on a long sunny afternoon…

1. Weak Lager

lager

Outdoor drinking is different to indoor drinking – there are rules. For example, no strong lagers. You’re in it for the long haul, and anything over 5 per cent will have you staggering around in pools of your own vomit before teatime. Hence, it’s weak lagers all the way, and nothing quite splashes the insides like an icy cold Fosters or Carlsberg. Yum.

2. Weak Lager Top

lager-top

Now, outdoor drinking isn’t men only, girls will be there too. So, thank Christ for the lager top, an invention designed specifically for beautiful young women. The idea is simple – take the pint of weak lager, and add a dash of sweet lemonade to take away some of the beery potency. It’s like putting on mascara, or lipstick. Or Chanel No 5.

3. Weak Lager Shandy

shandy

Okay, so men and women are catered for, but what about youngsters, or those with small drinking problems trying to cut down? Well, again, start with a weak lager base, but this time add half a glass of lemonade, making for a 50/50 lager/lemonade mix. For those unsure of what time to start drinking, this makes for a fantastic amuse bouche.

4. Gin and Tonic

gin-and-tonic

In these times of recession, most of us can’t afford snazzy cocktails, so this one is for special occasions only. It might be your birthday? Or perhaps you’re at a lavish wedding? Either way, this is a delicious drink. Really really delicious.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

10 Responses to Interestment’s Top Four: Pub garden drinks

  1. mustard says:

    what’s wrong with cider interestment?

  2. mustard says:

    or a nice warm glass of ale?

  3. josh josh says:

    ale is a summer no no, Mustard. Cider, we assume, was a joke. We will have no talk of Magners here.

  4. Spencer says:

    Bitter shandies can taste like fruit juice.

    A Deuchars, for example has pineapple notes when lemonade is added.

    POW.

  5. forty-forty five says:

    for fellas who reside within the M25, a refreshing lager top is a totally acceptable summer tipple. In Scotchland you would get hung for treason for this.

    I am surprised that the summer driving lager of Sol / Corona didn’t make the list…

  6. magnetite says:

    Magners isn’t summer cider. It’s an excuse to buy ice. Woodpecker at a flimsy 3.5% abv is summer cider. Like a soft drink with hard edges, it cuts through thirst, cools without ice and won’t knock your socks off…straight away.

    (Consistently superb work by the way, Mr. B. Consistently superb.)

  7. Neil says:

    I once saw a tramp inadvertently down half a pint of piss in a beer garden. He looked like he loved it. But it doesn’t even make the top 5? How come?

  8. oliver says:

    NO ICE IN CIDER FOR GOD’S SAKE

  9. Spencer says:

    I get confused about which oliver is which on this site sometimes. I know which one that was.

  10. rich says:

    cider cider cider.

    I was only going to say it once but needed a bit of extra length..!

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