Mummy, something weird’s going on!

Nothing quite splashes the eyeballs like a sexual awakening during a children’s television programme, and yet there she was on Blue Peter, bantering with boring Simon Groom and that crazy dwarf loony, Peter Duncan (pictured, left). Her name, it turns out, was Sarah Greene, and the strange tingling in our Batman underpants was the first of many during Blue Peter, and then on to Saturday Superstore – a show for which she transformed her hair into a brilliant blonde. What a great presenter she was, managing to be both interesting and alluring at the same time. She was also worryingly bubbly, which worked well on telly, but might translate as a bit desperate when you’re just trying to read the paper, and she’s twittering about bring and buy sales and how to make broaches from road kill. But no matter, great face, astonishing figure, and anyone who saw her in Dancing On Ice last year will agree, she is Antony’s Cleopatra – age cannot wither her. Fantastic gal.

As ever, there will be no crumpet for the guys, without a little something something for the girls. Below is Tom Selleck.

You’re welcome.