Forgotten beauties: The Doritos Girl

Published: 26th Mar, 2009

Her real name is Ali Landry…


Until 1998 Doritos were only ever consumed by strange loners in long raincoats and massive running shoes. The people forgotten by society. The outcasts. And then, all of a sudden – after a surge of marketing genius – everyone wanted a packet of the crispy triangles, because a really good looking woman with fantastic knockers was on the ads. She was a former Miss USA called Ali Landry, who has since become celebrated all over the planet for having a body carved from marble, a face designed by Jesus himself, and hair made from very thin bits of silk, woven by cherubs. Doritos, on the other hand, are now exclusively consumed by total morons.

Of course, there will be no sexy brown haired vixen for the guys without someone taut and pubic for the girls. Below is Tom Selleck.


You’re welcome.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

One Response to Forgotten beauties: The Doritos Girl

  1. Avatar Spencer says:

    She’s all that, and a bag of chips.

    I should be a professional writer of sorts.

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