Ahhh, bonjour le petit dejeuner

Brigitte Bardot is one of those people that everyone knows about, but no one is really sure what she’s good at. It’s a similar problem that effects Peaches Geldof, God, Jennifer Lopez, the thin one in Gavin and Stacey, Myleene Klass, Tim Lovejoy, Dannii Minogue, the other Geldof (Bob?), all of Sharon Osbourne’s children, Sharon Osbourne herself, and the girl with the clown who used to advertise the fact that television wasn’t ready to start yet. Of course, the main difference between Bardot and that list is that Bardot has become a symbol of astonishing beauty, with an iconic face, body, and hair. She was, in her time, astounding. Unfortunately, since the days when she made bikinis look fantastic, she’s become a little bit difficult to like. This is mainly because she keeps verbally attacking our Muslim brothers and sisters. Stop it, Bardot.

Of course, we wouldn’t dare give the boys some brilliant female flesh without similarly garnishing the womanly needs of fifty per cent of our readers. Below is Tom Selleck.

You’re welcome.