Interestment’s Top Four: Tasty Choc Bars

Published: 3rd Mar, 2009

Deep Fried Mars Bars not included…

deep-fried-mars-bar

Chocolate bars are many things to many people. To those light in the pocket, a well selected choc bar is the pudding of kings, yet to the greedy man, it’s a snack to be slurped down in one, and digested over a number of years. Those people tend to scoff a few a day – they are, we assume, the target audience for the still-popular Fun Size. But, to most of us, the kindly chocolate oblong is a special treat, reserved for celebrations, weekends, or mild self loathing. Here are the four best, as decided by us…

1. Double Decker

double-decker

If you’re going to make a chocolate break count, this is the one to go for. It’s a weighty construction, made up of delicious nougat and a cereal bottom – once home to little raisins, but not any more. What lifts this tasty treat above the pack is its versatility – a simple 180 degree rotation, and it’s a whole different bar, with a nougat bottom and cereal top. Genius.

2. Milky Way

milky-way

Almost the polar opposite of the Double Decker, this is a light snack – a palate cleanser, if you will. It was invented as a choc bar homage to the ever-popular chocolate-malt milkshakes that Americans seem to love so much. There is no greater joy than thundering through at least two of these at a time. They feel almost good for you.

3. Twix

new-twix

Fittingly, the Twix has been sold on these shores since 1967 – the Summer of Love. It’s fitting because we love it. Over the years, there have been many variations – orange ones, minty ones, double chocolate crunch ones, ice cream ones, dark chocolate ones – but we will always be drawn to the original. Also good for sharing, they say.

4. Topic

topic

This just – just! – edges out Snickers, as they are similar, but this one seems somehow classier. It’s like an after-dinner chocolate bar. Manufactured in sunny France, it is a soothing mixture of caramel, nougat and hazelnuts. The perfect anniversary present.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

14 Responses to Interestment’s Top Four: Tasty Choc Bars

  1. handsomedaf says:

    I so disagree with your choice. I am furious.

    Where the f*** is the Lion Bar? And Snickers? It’s the only bar for me before any extreme sport (includng kite surfing).

    And where’s the Mars Bar, people?

    Frankly, I’m disgusted.

    And furious (again).

  2. forty-forty five says:

    no Fry’s Turkish delight?

    WTF / OMG

    props for the DD though – eaten upside down obviously

  3. Neil says:

    You can’t beat a good Creme Egg though can you?

  4. Mark says:

    Cream Egg – not a choc bar. Its an egg.

    Snickers should be in there. Deffo. Milky Way? The snack you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite? A joke.

    Also, I’d like to mention the penguin as a leftfield choice. A superior version of the Australian Tim Tam, you could also wind up vegetarians by pointing out that it wasn’t “kosher”….

  5. mustard says:

    THIS IS BULLSH*T INTERESTMENT

    WHAT ABOUT THE “KIT-KAT”?

  6. josh josh says:

    Kit Kat doesn’t make it because it’s rubbish.

    Turkish Delight – is this a joke?

    Lion Bar came close, but failed to deliver on density when placed alongside the Double Decker, and Mars Bars still make me think of puking.

    Neil, as for Creme Eggs… they’re, um, eggs… in a way…

    Penguins don’t count. I’m not sure why.

  7. Neil says:

    Eggs come out of fowl. Creme Eggs come out of Cadbury’s. therefore – it’s a chocolate bar!

    Penguins are biscuits masquerading as chocolate bars…

  8. handsomedaf says:

    Everyone fuck off!!!

  9. oliver says:

    what if i liked a lot of chocolate in my biscuit? what would be my recourse then?

  10. mustard says:

    If a creme egg is considered an egg and not a bar, what category would a twix easter egg fall into? part chocolate egg and part chocolate bar, but packaged together?? Also whilst we’re on the subject of twixes – surely they’re biscuits first and chocolate bars second? And why are creme eggs pronounced “cream” eggs and not “creme” eggs?

  11. Spencer says:

    A TWIX ISN’T A BLOODY BISCUIT. SURELY YOU JEST.

    I just wasted ten minutes trying to find out the details of what constitutes a biscuit vs. a chocolate bar. Couldn’t find it.

    It’s not as screamingly obvious as the Jaffa Cake: biscuit vs. cake argument.

    Oh no he di-n’t!

  12. debs says:

    has anyone ever tried to *actually* beat a cadbury’s creme egg?
    Just a thought.

  13. Russ says:

    Controversial stuff to be sure. The Lion Bar has to be in the top 4: “Bite It. Crunch It. Chew It”. Knocks the pansy Milky Way into a chocolate cocked hat.

  14. Andy says:

    im looking for a chocolate bar that was sold a long time a go like 1995ish, it was sold with 2 bars inside, not like a twix, but like a mars bar just cut in half, the package had light brown & a splash of a darker brown, i think..im 70% sure it started with a “C”. , it was my most favorite bar, & i can not find it anywere……

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