Interestment’s Top Four: Fruity Sweets

Published: 30th Jan, 2009

You can keep your damn Skittles, Uncle Sam!

skittles

From time to time, we all need a lift – a little boost to takes us through mid-afternoon, all the way to early-evening. This is ideal sweet munching time, but not everyone can be trusted when it comes to delicious confectionaries. Some idiots, for example, choose to eat Turkish Delight or Liquorice, both of which are completely disgusting. Others might go for Fruit Gums, which, yes, taste great, but will claim at least four of your teeth while you chew them. With all of this taken into account, we deemed it high time to list our four favourite sweeties.

1. Jelly Tots

jelly-tots

Granted, these are not the most macho sweets you will ever find, but for scoffability, they’re our number one. Soft, fruity, and small – there is no greater pleasure in the world than cramming around fifteen into your mouth in one go. A taste revelation. For the nation.

2. Haribo Tangfastics

tangfastics

Formerly known as Sour Mix, these are only for the real hardcore. The kind of people who kick off a quiet Sunday with a shot of Tequila and the morning after pill. They work best on weeping mouth ulcers, where the eye-watering sourness can send you wild.

3. M&S Wine Gums

wine-gums

Wine Gums are absolutely everywhere, so it’s hard to know which brand of this classic fruit jellied gumdrop to go for. M&S do a particularly good version. Not just any Wine Gum, a deeply sexual, dripping M&S Wine Gum etc…

4. American Hard Gums

american-hard-gums

Another sugar coated classic, these have a firmer texture than most sweets, but are still simple enough to chew. That said, perhaps have a toothpick at the ready, because these little swines can sense a tooth gap like it was metal and they were a magnet. Delicious.

Josh Burt
About the author:
Josh has been a writer and journalist for the best part of twenty years and has written for modern staples like FHM and Cosmopolitan and The Daily Telegraph and The Sun. He has also written a small handful of so-so books that you can still buy.

5 Responses to Interestment’s Top Four: Fruity Sweets

  1. Caz says:

    Tutti fruttis. Divine…

  2. Al says:

    Umm, tricky choice but I think I’d go with the Jelly Tots. Wine gums are good but they can hurt the jaw after endless chewing – they never seem to go away, they just get stuck on your tooth so by the end of the packet you have a sticky mouth and a sticky hand where you’ve been trying to prise it out from the back of your mouth.

  3. Al says:

    I agree with Caz, Tooty Frooties are definitively the best fruity choice of sweet 😉

  4. Rich says:

    what happened to jolly rancher? The only convincing watermelon flavour i’ve tasted. Outside of a watermelon.

  5. chill says:

    Haribo ftw 🙂

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