A warm welcome to Britain’s booziest Agony Aunt

Published: 22nd Jan, 2009

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Introducing Interestment‘s newest recruit, let’s have a big drunk “hurrah” for Tia Dolores, The Mistress of Misery, Counselling Queen, Aunty Booze. When she’s not daintily nursing a flagon of low-end fortified wine or using a straw to eke out the final dregs out of a can of Export, Auntie B is on hand for all your problems. And she really does care. This week, we got a letter from a poor young lass, puzzled by the collapse of her relationship, searching for answers. As usual, Auntie B might have been a little bit drunk.

Q: Dear Auntie B,

For ages now, I have been struggling to communicate with my once loving partner. We used to have so much fun together, in and out of the sack. But now – when we are not in the bedroom – he is glued to Championship Manager, and whenever I bring up “us” he blanks me out. What should I do?

Lonely and depressed,

Andi

Solihull

A: Andi, Andi, Andi, Pandi. I feel like I really know you, you know, even though we’ve only just met? I love your hair! Your boyfriend is SUCH a STUPID bastard and one day everyone’s gonna see that, do you know what I am saying to you? Wee on his computer, yes, that’s what I said, wee! On. It.¬†What the hell are you waiting for?¬†Noooooo more silly football games for him! And he’ll definitely want to talk about “feelings” and “relationships”. All men love talking about these things… promise.

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