A warm welcome to Britain’s booziest Agony Aunt

Published: 22nd Jan, 2009

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Introducing Interestment‘s newest recruit, let’s have a big drunk “hurrah” for Tia Dolores, The Mistress of Misery, Counselling Queen, Aunty Booze. When she’s not daintily nursing a flagon of low-end fortified wine or using a straw to eke out the final dregs out of a can of Export, Auntie B is on hand for all your problems. And she really does care. This week, we got a letter from a poor young lass, puzzled by the collapse of her relationship, searching for answers. As usual, Auntie B might have been a little bit drunk.

Q: Dear Auntie B,

For ages now, I have been struggling to communicate with my once loving partner. We used to have so much fun together, in and out of the sack. But now – when we are not in the bedroom – he is glued to Championship Manager, and whenever I bring up “us” he blanks me out. What should I do?

Lonely and depressed,

Andi

Solihull

A: Andi, Andi, Andi, Pandi. I feel like I really know you, you know, even though we’ve only just met? I love your hair! Your boyfriend is SUCH a STUPID bastard and one day everyone’s gonna see that, do you know what I am saying to you? Wee on his computer, yes, that’s what I said, wee! On. It. What the hell are you waiting for? Noooooo more silly football games for him! And he’ll definitely want to talk about “feelings” and “relationships”. All men love talking about these things… promise.

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